Goodbye Fat Roxy

Dear Fat Roxy,

    It is time for our relationship to be over.  This has been a lifelong relationship and I almost can’t believe that I am leaving it, but I am.  I am leaving for good.  I won’t say that I’m sorry that it’s over, but I also won’t say that I’m completely sorry to have known you.  There are reasons that you were in my life, reasons that I needed you, and I thank you for being here to help me with those things.  I don’t need you anymore, though, I can do it on my own. 

    I thank you for the lessons that you have taught me.  From you I have learned a lot about me, but there has been a lot of pain too.  Because of you I have spent way too much on clothes.  Shopping has been pure hell.  I  have spent years questioning myself and my self worth.  I have found myself crying because of being criticized by others.  I have regretted not taking part in things because I was too self conscious or didn’t have the energy.  You’ve made me feel guilty for enjoying food.  You’ve made me feel ugly and unwanted.  You have caused me health problems and self esteem issues.  You have made it difficult for me to relate to others.  You have made it hard for me to have a family.  You have made me self conscious and nervous.  You turned me into a self indulgent, whiny, brat.  You have taken away my energy.  I am tired of it and I will not take it any more.  I am never going to come back to you, we are done, finished, over!

    I have a new love.  My new love is Healthy Roxy.  Healthy Roxy has given me so much more.  I have learned that food is not something to feel guilty over.  I have learned that healthy food can be yummy and addictive.  I have learned self control.  I have learned that I can be powerful, strong, healthy, sexy, vibrant, and energetic.  I have learned that I want to run.  I have learned how to set and to smash goals.  I have learned that I really can do anything I set my mind to.  I have learned how to be a good role model.  I have learned not to be afraid.  I have learned that I don’t always have to do it the “girly” way.  I have learned that muscle is good.  I have learned good habits.  I have learned that sweat won’t kill me.  I have learned to be proud.  I have learned to participate.  I have learned to stop lying to myself.  I have learned that I DO NOT need the brownies.  I have learned to love and respect me.  So, Fat Roxy, I am leaving you for Healthy Roxy because she’s better for me.  I would like to say that had I never known you I would not be able to appreciate Healthy Roxy nearly as much, and for that I will always be grateful.  However, at this point I have gotten all I can from my relationship with you and you will never see me again.


Goodbye,
Roxy

Slim In 6

I started the Slim in 6 program from Beach Body.  Today was day 3.  I'm not sure if I am going to be doing this for a full 6 weeks or not.  I don't want to get prematurely cocky, but it may get too easy for me before the 6 weeks is up.  My plan is to do Slim in 6 until it is too easy (whether that is 3 weeks or 12) and then move on to the harder programs that Beach Body offers. 

My order is going to be:
1. Slim in 6
2. P90X
3. Insanity
4. A second round of P90X, but using the P90X+ videos

I am taking sets of before and after pics for each one and I will post them as I finish each program.  I am really excited about the whole thing.  I may be a masochistic freak, but I can't wait to get to the harder stuff.

Out of my Bounce!

So today I weighed in at 167 even.  I am finally out of the 167.5-170 bounce that I had been doing for 19 days! Now to work on staying out of it.

Size 10

It is a really bad picture, but that is me in size 10 levis and a small shirt.  That's right, small!

Frustrations

On May 29 I got below 170 with a weight of 168.8.  Since then I have bounced around between 167.5 and 170 - though only in the 170s once during that time.  I have no idea what is going on.  Since I have kept perfectly to my plan and I have had some days that I have burned over 4,000 calories, this should not be happening.  I should be in the low 160s by now.  I don't know what to do.  I know what I want to do - I want to go cry into a milkshake and a pizza.  I'm not going to do that, but I want to.  I know that my plan works, if it didn't I would still be 245, but this is driving me insane!