Goodbye Fat Roxy

Dear Fat Roxy,

    It is time for our relationship to be over.  This has been a lifelong relationship and I almost can’t believe that I am leaving it, but I am.  I am leaving for good.  I won’t say that I’m sorry that it’s over, but I also won’t say that I’m completely sorry to have known you.  There are reasons that you were in my life, reasons that I needed you, and I thank you for being here to help me with those things.  I don’t need you anymore, though, I can do it on my own. 

    I thank you for the lessons that you have taught me.  From you I have learned a lot about me, but there has been a lot of pain too.  Because of you I have spent way too much on clothes.  Shopping has been pure hell.  I  have spent years questioning myself and my self worth.  I have found myself crying because of being criticized by others.  I have regretted not taking part in things because I was too self conscious or didn’t have the energy.  You’ve made me feel guilty for enjoying food.  You’ve made me feel ugly and unwanted.  You have caused me health problems and self esteem issues.  You have made it difficult for me to relate to others.  You have made it hard for me to have a family.  You have made me self conscious and nervous.  You turned me into a self indulgent, whiny, brat.  You have taken away my energy.  I am tired of it and I will not take it any more.  I am never going to come back to you, we are done, finished, over!

    I have a new love.  My new love is Healthy Roxy.  Healthy Roxy has given me so much more.  I have learned that food is not something to feel guilty over.  I have learned that healthy food can be yummy and addictive.  I have learned self control.  I have learned that I can be powerful, strong, healthy, sexy, vibrant, and energetic.  I have learned that I want to run.  I have learned how to set and to smash goals.  I have learned that I really can do anything I set my mind to.  I have learned how to be a good role model.  I have learned not to be afraid.  I have learned that I don’t always have to do it the “girly” way.  I have learned that muscle is good.  I have learned good habits.  I have learned that sweat won’t kill me.  I have learned to be proud.  I have learned to participate.  I have learned to stop lying to myself.  I have learned that I DO NOT need the brownies.  I have learned to love and respect me.  So, Fat Roxy, I am leaving you for Healthy Roxy because she’s better for me.  I would like to say that had I never known you I would not be able to appreciate Healthy Roxy nearly as much, and for that I will always be grateful.  However, at this point I have gotten all I can from my relationship with you and you will never see me again.


Goodbye,
Roxy